Can a person give up on life?

"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Psalm56:4

I don't think about anything much nowadays. I just place my trust in God to guide me in my walk with Him. In a way, that is giving up on everything and to follow the Lord by faith alone. Still, as we walk with God, there are many challenges that the Lord will put in our path to test and teach us in our walk with Him. If we overcome these challenges and learn from them and not repeat whatever mistakes that we have done, then we have passed the test and teaching that God has given us.

It's so hard to follow and do all these. There are so many temptations along the way and most of us will be misguided and backslide and fall behind in the race and some of us might actually stop the race all together. Sometimes the challenges that we face is so tough and hard to overcome that we feel like giving up on life all together. The problems just increase and increase and we can find no solutions to these problems. What are we to do then? Give up or persevere? Many times I feel like giving up, I felt as is there is no place in this world for me. No one cares for me, I feel so alone. Then I remember the Lord Jesus and I know that He is with me and I feel better knowing that I am not alone. God is always with me.

A few years back, I threw everything I ever had away, a decent job, a decent life, a decent relationship, I wasted my life away and waited for whatever it is that will happen to me to happen. I day dream my life away. I want more and more things and I finally end up with nothing and a whole lot of things that I am not suppose to have, I got those. I gave up life back then. I became afraid with the thought of getting up from my bed and go out and face the world with nothing, so I locked myself up in the room and wasted my life away even more. My body became weak from the lack of food and I lost weight. I practically became a zombie.

I truly thank God that I am not like that right now. If I ever were like that again, I might as well die. Now I focus on what I need but still I splurge on what I want. What I need is more important that what I want. Therefor, I will from now on concentrate on what I need only and no more what I want. Control, God help me control myself.

Long Beach

Today was my last day working in the housekeeping department. There loads of checkout and everyone was working like mad. Lack of supervisor to inspect and handle floor due to some unforseen circumstances. I never really did say farewell to the maids in the housekeeping department properly. It's a good thing also because they won't have a chance to really torture me before I leave. Ha ha. I am going to miss the housekeeping department and the staffs working there. Even though I am always stressed in housekeeping but the teamwork that I see among the crew is really inspiring. I can only pray for them to maintain the attitude and energy that is really needed in bringing out the spirit of rock and roll in housekeeping. Guys and gals of housekeeping, you all rock. Good luck in facing the challenges of the future. I pray that any new crew leaders coming in will treat all of you the same as I did and have the same energy to keep up with all of you. Cheers~~~~~ housekeeping department, the unsung heroes and heroins of the hospitality industry, without you, the hotel can never operate!!!

On another note, I have been eating too much lately, all thanks to hanging out with Peggy. Yesterday went to red garden and I ate so much food there and today go to long beach and I ate a whole load of food again. I really got to cut down on my eating habit. It's gonna kill me one day. Ha ha. I ate one plate of sizzling hot plate followed by home made spring rolls and pizza. That's a lot. I also got to cut down on oily stuff, my face is exploding with zits~~~!!! That's what I get for eating oily stuff.

"But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children - with those who keep his covenent and remember to obey his precepts." Psalms103:17-18

Front Office, I am on my way there again. This time I am prepared and I am ready to face all the challenges. I pray that I will do well there as I did before. I pray that I make the right and correct decisions and also may I guide the crew there well and provide a good example for the crew to follow.

Gonna be very busy very soon. I need to prepare myself physically and mentally to face the challenges that I will face each day. I will also be looking forward for a very special someone's arrival very soon. I juz pray that I will be able to be myself and that I show a good impression to her. Eve, if you are reading this, I am actually, really and truly looking forward to seeing you. Can't promise you much but I will try my best to do my very best. Cheers~~~~~

What are we really?

I dunno what to say. I am me and there can only be one me. I just sometime feel that I just want to be different. I want to be unique but them I realized that I am already unique. The Lord made all of us unique and we all have talents and we should use our God given talents to the fullest.

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts20:24

Prace and joy to all. Amen.

Ravings~~~~ can't sleep so write something

I juz feel like writing something right now. I still love someone but I dun think that she loves me anymore. I was totally broken when she broke up with me and I thought that I could move on with my life and get over it. I dunno what I should be feeling. Sometime I juz can't stop thinking about her, other times I dun even think about her. I know that I should really be moving on with my life and get over it but I dunno why I still have this feeling in me. Maybe it's juz a normal love for a good friend. I believe that I am a very loving person but I dun think that anyone would believe that when I say that out. Still, I can't stop thinking about her. What am I suppose to do? I juz keep on raving about things which is my mind that keeps running through my head. I am going to pour out everything in my head right now. I will be going to work in reception starting 1st June. Someone I have been waiting for is coming back I really dunno how to react to her. I have been waiting to meet and see her but I really dunno how to react or behave when I really meet her in person. People will say to juz act as myself but am I really going to give a good first impression to her. I am me. I am not that really cool or good looking or rich or whatever. I am juz a plain and normal person. I have nothing interesting or exciting happening around me. Help me~~~~!!!! And I am going to be bloody damn busy in June. I wonder if I got time to spenf with her?? As much as I tell people around me that I am single and that I have no girl friend in my life right now at this moment, none of them will believe me untill they see me walking around alone during my off days in Gurney plaza and that also they won't believe that I am single. Is it so hard to juz accept me as I am? Why is it that all my life right untill now, I keep seeing things that I am not suppose to see, when I can do nothing about it and I feel sad seeing these things happening. I am bored and lonely right now so all I do is make up my mind to fully concentrate on my work. But of course even when I work my ass off at the place that I work now, I dun get anything from it. I am not a patient person, when I want something, I work hard for it and when what I want is not given, I get pissed off. Anyway, the pay sucks. For someone with my qualification, people will say that I am juz wasting my time here working for such a disgracefull income. Still, I dun care coz I am still living, I am still alive, I can still spend enuf money doing what I want. I can cover all my needs. I just cannot have what I want that is all. But for me, what I need is more important that what I want. As long as I get to satisfy my need then there is no worries for me. Amen to that.

"Each of us should please his neighbour for his good, to build him up" Romans15:2

Shit, I am hungry now. Damn, I gotta sleep. Need to prepare assignments tomorrow. Haiz~~~~ life is life and there is nothing that we can do to change it. The Lord has already planned everything out for us. What we can do is juz to accept it. Nothing is what it seems untill you get to know the story behind the reason. We should not complain but juz accept whatever it is that is happening to us. There is always a reason that the Lord put us through trails and tests. It is to mould us into a better person. Amen. Peace out. Rock ON!!!!!!!!