I juz feel like writing something right now. I still love someone but I dun think that she loves me anymore. I was totally broken when she broke up with me and I thought that I could move on with my life and get over it. I dunno what I should be feeling. Sometime I juz can't stop thinking about her, other times I dun even think about her. I know that I should really be moving on with my life and get over it but I dunno why I still have this feeling in me. Maybe it's juz a normal love for a good friend. I believe that I am a very loving person but I dun think that anyone would believe that when I say that out. Still, I can't stop thinking about her. What am I suppose to do? I juz keep on raving about things which is my mind that keeps running through my head. I am going to pour out everything in my head right now. I will be going to work in reception starting 1st June. Someone I have been waiting for is coming back I really dunno how to react to her. I have been waiting to meet and see her but I really dunno how to react or behave when I really meet her in person. People will say to juz act as myself but am I really going to give a good first impression to her. I am me. I am not that really cool or good looking or rich or whatever. I am juz a plain and normal person. I have nothing interesting or exciting happening around me. Help me~~~~!!!! And I am going to be bloody damn busy in June. I wonder if I got time to spenf with her?? As much as I tell people around me that I am single and that I have no girl friend in my life right now at this moment, none of them will believe me untill they see me walking around alone during my off days in Gurney plaza and that also they won't believe that I am single. Is it so hard to juz accept me as I am? Why is it that all my life right untill now, I keep seeing things that I am not suppose to see, when I can do nothing about it and I feel sad seeing these things happening. I am bored and lonely right now so all I do is make up my mind to fully concentrate on my work. But of course even when I work my ass off at the place that I work now, I dun get anything from it. I am not a patient person, when I want something, I work hard for it and when what I want is not given, I get pissed off. Anyway, the pay sucks. For someone with my qualification, people will say that I am juz wasting my time here working for such a disgracefull income. Still, I dun care coz I am still living, I am still alive, I can still spend enuf money doing what I want. I can cover all my needs. I just cannot have what I want that is all. But for me, what I need is more important that what I want. As long as I get to satisfy my need then there is no worries for me. Amen to that.
"Each of us should please his neighbour for his good, to build him up" Romans15:2
Shit, I am hungry now. Damn, I gotta sleep. Need to prepare assignments tomorrow. Haiz~~~~ life is life and there is nothing that we can do to change it. The Lord has already planned everything out for us. What we can do is juz to accept it. Nothing is what it seems untill you get to know the story behind the reason. We should not complain but juz accept whatever it is that is happening to us. There is always a reason that the Lord put us through trails and tests. It is to mould us into a better person. Amen. Peace out. Rock ON!!!!!!!!
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